Long time, no sleep

Baby is here!  Baby Girl was born November 8 at 3am… and I haven’t slept since   Haven’t had much energy to post… but here are some things that you just can’t prepare for after the birth of your baby:

• No sleep (seriously, none – people tell you about it, and you acknowledge it, but NOTHING prepares you for it)
• Hormones (this has been the death of me – i swear, i cried every night the first two weeks, sometimes imagine killing my husband while i’m nursing her in the middle of the night and he’s sleeping… even though he’s been nothing but supportive and helpful).
• How much you will look at poop… what’s a good color? good texture?  you will become an expert.

Generation Gap

So, the husband and I went to our neighborhood halloween party tonight (a week early, but to give the kids a chance to go trick or treating).  I know we are the youngest couple in our neighborhood, but I’m not sure I realized HOW young until tonight, when I had to explain our halloween costume to the adults, but not their kids (well, not the teenagers in the neighborhood anyway).  It appears we are closer in age to their teens than we are to them…  Don’t get me wrong – i love our neighbors and am becoming very close to them, i just think it’s funny.   At least a few of the parents got our halloween costume I give you Juno and Bleeker.

My Fears

So now i’m a little over 36 weeks, and it’s so weird to think that in (hopefully) the next few weeks, I will have my baby girl here.  I feel like I should be afraid of childbirth, but really – I’ve always been one to trust my doctors and I’ve found my peace with delivery.  The birth and delivery class also really helped me confront my fears and realize that childbirth is NORMAL, and my body was meant to do this – and putting my trust in my doctors, interventions or not, I finally feel like I’m in a good place to give birth.  So what am I afraid of?  Some may seem pretty crazy, but here’s my list:

• Losing myself (but, at the same time, intrigued to see who I will become as a mother)
• Figuring out how to make all sides of a family happy (in-laws and my parents, while still trying to establish my own family)
• Christmas 2010 (yes, I worry about who I’m going to piss off by saying I want to just stay home NEXT YEAR)
• Traveling (many of you know I am ADDICTED to travel – and I have no plans to stop, even if it means bringing my baby halfway across the world – though I say now that I’m just going to ‘play it by ear’).  And feeling like a jerk because I’d rather travel to some foreign country than go visit family.
• Maintaining what has been one of the best times in my marriage – being pregnant has really brought us so close together and I’ve enjoyed just about every minute of it (the relationship part, not the annoying sciatica and lack of sleep).
• Going back to work (i haven’t even HAD the baby yet, and I’m already dreading the end of maternity leave… makes sense).

Now, some of the FUNNIER stuff that’s happened to me that may be my subconscious telling me I’m afraid of something, but I can’t figure it out (based on dreams I have had):

• Gave birth to a boy and I didn’t want him (awful dream, but was funny to me since this was the night before I found out i was having a girl).  I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t want a girl with all my heart, but don’t worry – I would be fine with having a baby boy by surprise if the ultrasounds were wrong… just what to do with all those clothes!
• Gave birth to a baby with a tail that was wagging – perhaps my dog spawned that dream
• Gave birth to a plastic baby doll (I guess they showed the baby doll in the labor and delivery class one too many times)
• Water broke, but no matter what way i turned, could not get to hospital (maybe… not so funny?)

Some of the things I’m surprised I’m finding out about myself?

• I would love to have my sister in there with me through labor (and delivery, but I want that to be just for me and Scott to share in a way)
• I thought for sure I’d want the epidural as soon as it was safe, now I want it only if it’s necessary (though, the worse my sciatica gets, the more I’m pretty certain I’ll be asking for it)
• I love being a woman – I am amazed at what my body can do, what it will do, when it used to disgust me.
• I feel so empowered because I will be giving birth.  Maybe that’s the all women’s liberal college graduate in me talking.

Baby Advice

Wow.  32.5 weeks along.

I have actually started doing some things on my to do list…

• closet is all set (thanks to the mother in law for doing all that laundry!)
• child care – no, i have not actually FOUND any yet, but – i’ve thought about it – that counts right?  Mom so kindly volunteered a couple days a week (with the caveat that she still wants to travel – i’ll deal with that if she’s free); and the husband is thinking about a more flexible work schedule… anyone know a GREAT german-speaking part time nanny in the Raleigh, NC area?
• ordered furniture – should get here in a couple of weeks.

So, i have to say – we have been extremely fortunate.  We are so blessed to have such great family, friends, and colleagues.  I’ve been given three showers (work in DC, church in DC, and friends and neighbors in Raleigh, NC).  It was like CHRISTMAS!   I’m pretty sure the baby could get away without wearing the same outfit twice in a year.  I’d say we’re pretty lucky to only have to buy the car seat and crib mattress as necessities.  the other stuff can be bought later (high chair, bigger stroller).    Thanks to EVERYONE!

One of the favorite things that came from the baby shower are some advice cards.  I just wanted to share a few words of wisdom I received.

• Never do anything you don’t want to do a thousand times
• Wear t-shirts so kids can blow their noses on them.  It’s eco-friendly
• Doggy bags work
• Give baby tylenol 30 min before vaccine
• Mix formula in night bottle
• must treat self to post-partum makeover and relax.  you have 21 years left.
• it’s ok if you need time away from the baby
• make time for yourselves to develop your relationship, and video tape everything
• baby can cry for 20 minutes when in bed.

And my favorite (from my sister)

• Don’t get mad when i take your daughter to get her first body piercing.

29.5 Weeks… Holy Cow

So I have a little over 10 weeks left until my due date. Holy crap. Where did the time go?

Things I still need to do:

1. get the nursery together (meh – am i the only mother that is not super interested in this?)
2. learn how to actually take care of a baby (man it was easier growing up when i could just hand off back to the parents when i baby sat!)
3. get over my fear of delivery (i know it happens every day, i just don’t understand the sheer mechanics of THAT coming out of THAT)
4. Find child care… ummm… so all the books said i should have done this like a month ago.  oops.

Things I’m not going to miss (and things i look forward to):

1. sleeping on my side. man i can’t wait to sleep on my stomach again.
2. getting hit by a tired stick. there is nothing like waking up at your desk, with drool on your cheek, to the operator saying, ‘if you’d like to make a call…’. good thing i work from home. that could have been embarrassing.
3. waking up, all the time, to pee. though i know this will soon be replaced with ‘waking up, all the time, to feed the baby’
4. the invasion of my personal bubble. though to people’s credit, MOST of you have asked if you can feel my tummy… don’t be offended. i don’t even really hug people.
5. the ability to move furniture. yes, i am a rearranging freak of nature. since my husband isn’t, and doesn’t quite understand my need to push things around to find a better place (sometimes i move an entire room around, just to find it looks good just where it was – but still. it’s the process, right?), i have been very good and not left him a list of things i’d like to try in new places… (ok i made a big list once of what i want done with each room in the house, but that’s not really ALL that bad, is it?)

Things I will miss

1. the ability to clear my plate, and out-eat most men, without really caring. it’s pretty entertaining to watch how much i can (and will) eat. only 300 calories extra my ass. (ok, yes, it does go straight there).
2. how NICE everyone is! now that i actually look pregnant, and not like i have a beer gut (which, let’s face, was how i looked before i got pregnant), it’s been like having a ticket to pleasantville. ‘ma’am would you like a drink of water while you shop?’ ‘would you like my seat?’, and my favorite – all the compliments about my looks. i don’t care. go ahead and lie. just don’t tell me ‘wow you’ve gotten big’. no shit i’ve grown – and in more places than my belly. i prefer ‘awww you are glowing! i love your bump!’. you don’t have to mention how big my butt is, my double chin, or my arms… i am perfectly aware that sleeveless is not my friend. it’s just that i don’t actually CARE when it’s 100 degrees out. though to be fair, sleeveless has never been my friend.
3. feeling the baby kick. it’s magical. except when you’re trying to sleep. though, now my stomach is starting to look like something out of a science fiction movie.

Pregnant in Vegas

26 weeks pregnant and I’m beginning to feel like a house. I’m in vegas this weekend, and avoiding the strip succesfully (ok minus the trip to fashion show mall – I learned how to not gamble in the vegas instead I buy cute stuff for me and baby).

Yesterday Laura, Troy, Tyson, and I went to Laura’s dad’s pool (let me say now how great it was to just float)… then the girls did some shopping at pea in the pod (my new favorite shop), and janie’s and jack (cute, but I refuse to pay $60 for a baby outfit -hooray for sales!).

I’m now officially the hungry hungry hippo. Yesterday I had SIX slices of French toast, ate a huge quesadilla, downed most of the kiddos snacks myself, steak dinner, and HUGE piece of lemon cake… Doubt I will gain the recommended one pound per week this go round… Oops.

My Weekend with a 4 Year Old

Well, really, I’m spending the weekend with one of my best friends up in northern Virginia before heading to DC for work, who has a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Her 4 year old cracks me up! Some of my favorite quotes from this weekend:

‘My daddy has a little cup like that, but it doesn’t have any handles’ (on explaining – unknowingly – that her dad has a shot glass).

‘Her baby is going to be way bigger than yours!’ (on observing the size of her aunt’s belly compared to mine – keep in mind she is due a month ahead of me)

The not so fun parts that make me weary of parenting in general include trying to convince the 4 year old to eat dinner (who i am convinced is going to turn into macaroni and cheese). Meanwhile, her 2 year old sister ate chipotle for lunch (did you know they made child sized bowls??? apparently i need that!), and a good serving of steak, potatoes, and brocolli for dinner…

I’m also in the midst of watching the Backyardigans… ummm… well… am I the only parent to be that really doesn’t want to listen to this all day? Can I just let my kid watch, oh, I don’t know… dexter? true blood? grandma’s boy? at least these kids are brought up on the right music. i have yet to hear the kiddie songs that are often played in nurseries (aside from what’s on Backyardigans right now). good job, Steph, for raising these girls on some actual DECENT, GOOD music I plan on doing the same.

THE BIG NEWS…

As promised, I had some big news to deliver… most people know, and I have been WAY too lazy to post on my blog, but will try and be better about it now…

Drumroll please…

I’m PREGNANT! How late am I in delivering this news? Well… yeah I’m 22 weeks right now. Oops. Sorry. Here’s how my pregnancy has gone so far:

First Trimester:
Not great, not terrible. Heard of worse… mostly dizzy, got sick a few times, hated finding a prenatal vitamin I could (a) swallow and (b) not get sick after taking…

Second Trimester:
Freaking TIRED. I just want to sleep. Traveled to Germany with the parents… Foudn out I’m having a GIRL! (yay – sooo excited to dress up a little girl!). Felt baby move (and now she won’t stop when I’m trying to sleep). Able to work out again…

I’ll try and actually post more on pregnancy… and post some photos every now and then…

Book Review: Twilight (the series)

Twilight
Ok not the BEST writing in the world, BUT – ultimately really liked the story line… the characters are a tad annoying, but what teenager isn’t these days? I kind of wish this was less for teenyboppers and more for people my age. I just felt like yelling out ‘would you do it already’?!?! (although I guess, now that I’m watching True Blood, i got way more than I asked for in that department).

New Moon
Least favorite of the series, mostly because I didn’t like the beginning (keep in mind i was pregnant and very emotional, and it had me all sorts of upset), I don’t care about Jacob, and I just want to see Bella and Edward together. The end got better (so I really just liked the parts where edward was in the book…)… I liked my second reading of it a little better, since I knew how the rest of the series ended…

Eclipse
OK series got better again. I now see the obsession with Mr. Cullen. I still felt like a bad person wondering why they still haven’t done anything (oh yeah, mormon wrote this, and, it is after all, aimed at a younger audience).

Breaking Dawn
FINALLY. Loved the last book in the series. Some parts were meh, but almost every book does that to me (yes, even Harry Potter). Consider myself addicted to Twilight.

Midnight Sun
If she had written this from the start, I probably would have been hooked way earlier… I prefer Edward’s point of view a little better… though it makes for a totally different book. Now, if she could just finish it! (Also, would LOVE to see the other point of view for every book she wrote).

Movie Reviews…

It’s been awhile since i’ve posted some reviews… so here are some of the movies I have seen recently…

Wolverine
Don’t waste your money. If you want to see Hugh Jackman, watch Australia. Pretty disappointed, since I loved the X-Men series (and I might still watch the cartoon).

Australia
Better than I thought – though I had zero expectations. Nicole Kidman starts off as an annoying brat, but ends up annoying me less and less as the movie goes on. And Hugh Jackman. Pretty.

Twilight
Worst. Acting. Ever. Well, maybe not the WORST – but i could only take the teenage brooding so much. But, whatever – I’ll still go watch New Moon. I loved the books. I suggest watching AFTER you have read the book, not before (like I did). Still, Robert Pattinson wasn’t so hard on the eyes… and who isn’t looking for an Edward Cullen in their life?

Fanboys
I couldn’t stop laughing. I had no idea what this was about when the husband rented it, and I LOVED it.

Grand Torino
Wow. Clint Eastwood… was… fantastic. Started off slow, but he was freakin hilarious in this (maybe not his intent, but i think I was so shocked at some of the things he said I couldn’t help but laugh).